Regardless of your age, I’m guessing that more than a few of you will relate to a few of these listed below.
It’s them little things we remember isn’t it? I look back on my life so far and I have to admit it often makes me chuckle. Growing up we do some silly things, some are more silly than others. We’ve embarrassed ourselves stupid, thought we looked cool when we so didn’t, done something to impress a boy or two, and a whole lot more besides.
However, you must admit, that no matter how silly these things are… Most were a lot of fun in the process.
So with that I’ve made this list! A list of all the stupid little things i’ve done before the age of 30!
So… In no particular order, here it goes
1. Had a tantrum in a supermarket for a red balloon (or so my mum informs me so)!
2. When at school, I’ve said something bitchy behind my friends back.
3. Made plans with all school friends that once I’m 16 I’ll emigrate with them to Spain where we will run a bar and live happily ever after… Blah… Blah… Blah
4. Bunked school only to be spotted by my mothers closet friend (almost every time, that woman was everywhere).
5. Tried to act the big girl when stating “yer, I eat the hottest curry at the Indian” only to feel like crying my eyes out when trying to prove it.
6. Got stuck in a baby swing at the play park only to need cutting out by dishy firemen. Note: 1, I was 15, 2, I was wearing a short skirt, 3, I was actually bunking off from school at the time, 4, my Head of Year was called and judging by how quickly she arrived to laugh at me, I’m guessing she flew there!
7. Gone to a friends for dinner only to find her mothers cooking disgusting. As a result I’m forced into the difficult task of trying to feed it to their family dog when no ones looking! Only problem is the dog didn’t seem to think much of it either)!
8. Left the girls loos to discover I’ve got my skirt tucked in my knickers and loo roll on the bottom of my shoes.
9. Accidentally killed a goldfish in a record half a day (not once but 2x)!
10. Needed to go to the toilet while at a boyfriends house but being to worried he may hear the action, held it for far to long, resulting in bad tummy cramps that left me rolling around like a baby on the floor.
11. Got a sudden case of the giggles at the most inappropriate moment.
12. Pretended to talk on my mobile in front of a group of lads only for it to start ringing.
13. Stuck chewing gum and a few drawing pins on a teachers chair.
14. Sat pulling a string of faces at my brother while my mother told him off, playing the angelic little angel whenever she looked in my direction.
15. Got drunk on cider…. That’s it… “Got drunk on cider!”
16. Woke up with kebab in my hair (and I don’t even like kebab so work that one out).
17. Wore a Union Jack dress when Geri Halliwell from the spice girls rocked one back in the 90’s.
18. Fallen over on a busy high street, jumped up and of course walked on as quickly as my little legs would carry me.
19. Spent a whole weeks pocket money on gobstoppers.
20. Dressed the family cat in dolls clothes then shut it in a draw.
21. Out loud i’ve sung the words to a song completely wrong then blamed the song.
22. Got stranded up town on New Years eve when losing my purse. Walked all the way home in heels only to realise the buses were free from midnight (we’re not talking up the road here but 8.6 miles).
23. Played knock down ginger (not literally, my son has red hair)! This game actually just involves knocking on doors and running away at speed. Not proud now but was dead proud then.
24. Sent an email about someone (hoping that someone would never know or hear about it) yet instead of sending it to the person I intended, I’ve accidentally Sent it to that someone who wasn’t meant to ever ever see it!
25. Quit a Job through anger only to regret it by the time I’ve had my second vodka at the bar directly across the road.
26. Accidentally made plans with two different people. Told one that I’m staying in and having an early night as gotta be up early. Only problem is that I see them in the club I’m at that night! The fact that I’m really swinging my pants on the dance floor at gone 2am really doesn’t help.
27. Ran away from home only to get as far as my garden gate.
28. Run and grabbed someone from behind shouting “Give me your money” only to realise that it wasn’t the good friend I thought it was. Honestly try explaining that one to the police!
29. Done my own fake tan just before a big night out, only to end up looking like a streaky version of the tango man.
30. Sent a drunken text but worse still… To the wrong person.
31. Gone on a night out dressed in next to nothing, without a coat during December. Why…. ?
32. Eaten a pot noodle for dinner. With the rising cost of living a pot noodle is no longer even considered a poor persons dinner… But it was when I ate it!
33.. Surfed on the back of an ice cream van.
34. Spent my school lunch money on cigarettes.
35. Stalked a paper boy I had a crush on.
36. Drunk hooch and Lambrini at parties when under the illusion it was a classy thing to do.
37. dropped out of school simply because I thought I knew better… Wasn’t impressed when I had to get educated as a woman!
38. 2 days after having a baby I attended an intermediate high impact cardio workout class. Just 5 minutes into the season I lied about needing the toilet so I could escape back out the door and back home.
39. Told my child’s teacher the dog ate their homework because I accidentally binned it.
40. Slipped and fell in a puddle of beer while doing my funky thing on the dance floor.
41. Slipped and fell in a puddle of sick while doing my funky thing on the dance floor.
42. Consumed far too much alcohol on an 18 to 30’s holiday therefore forgetting where or even which hotel I’m staying at.
43. Lied about my age to a boy only to be left red cheeked when I’m finally found out… (as you always are)!
44. Cried over a boy and screamed at my mum when she suggested I’d laugh about it one day! Of course she was right!
45. Fallen of a bar that I was dancing on (well, I was working in Greece and at 17 can be forgiven)!
46. Followed a fashion trend despite looking like a bit of a C#%#.
47. Spent a weeks wages on shoes!
48. Spent an absurd amount of money at a fairground trying to win an inflatable hammer or a teddy in an inflatable ball.
49. Eaten my own body weight in chocolate.
50, Dressed up in a couple of net curtains and danced around my bedroom pretending to marry Robbie from Take That (no not the reformed Take-That).
51. Chosen a water ride at a theme park as my first ride of the day. The sun isn’t shining much, I’m wearing jeans, have no change of clothes and another 6 hours before my train home! The word Idiot springs to mind!
52. On boxing day I’m sat playing Hairdresser when cutting all my Barbies hair off despite Christmas only being the day before.
53. Drunk so much black coffee before a job interview that I’ve gone in shaking like a alcoholic… No I didn’t get the job!
54…
So, go on then… Make a list of you’re own! I bet you’ll have a giggle as you look back and realise that there were times when you were quite simply pathetic!
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Mummy Of Many Talents 